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What do you call double A's? Batteries

Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

Roses are red, Violets are purple.

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

Why did the soccer player miss practice? He got shot in the face.

Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

what do round tank toilets do? blow up CC

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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