Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

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hi

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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what's worse than the holocaust living jews

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What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

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Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

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Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

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if there is a circle of fat people and you throw a cookie in the middle of the circle. It will be the best game of hungry hungry hippos you will ever see.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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