Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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knock knock Goodbye

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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A blonde walked into a bar.

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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