what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: You were adopted.

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How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

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Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

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Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

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How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? Well , you see, this black mans name was yargle, and during his high school years, people always made nicknames for him some of which were fat yargle, yargaryar, and bottomyarg. He thought to himself that wanted revenge, So he killed the entire population of earth. Oh ya, and since he was the last human, wirhout possibility of reproduction, he went to the store and bought a can of soup

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Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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Q: Whats funny about the Holocaust A: Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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