Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

What did the penguin do in the desert? He died .

Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

anti-joke.ru - russian style

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots, "Long day?", the bartender asks. "Yeah", the man replies, then he goes home and hangs himself

I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

whats the king of the forest, is the color brown and is red all over? A deer or someone's soon to be dinner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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