What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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You know what's cool? Yep.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

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Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

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Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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sorry son your nanas been put down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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