A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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A man with Azheim - Eh, I forgot what it was called.

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What do you call a black man in jail Your dad

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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What's better than your mom dying? Chocolate Cake.

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Q; How did the blind man cross the road? A; very unsuccessfully leaving behind memories of his joys but soon forgotten smile

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What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

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Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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What did Pikachu say to Charmander? Nothing. Pokemon are fictional creatures, and thus, do not exist.

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Someone loses their golfball in the trees. Their playing partner replies: "what is this? This berenstein bears?"

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Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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