A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. He's not really a chicken, he's just called a chicken because he is always afraid.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are red violets are red everything is red who set my house on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: A squirrel a chipmunk and a spider monkey are fighting over these nuts. Who gets them? A: Your Mom ;p

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you save a black man ... u don't

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worst than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock? Who's there? John. John who? John who is hospitalized in critical condition because he was struck by a ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What comes after 23? 24.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops