Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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Your face

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I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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What do you get when you jump into the Red Sea? Wet.

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Why the monkey fall out the tree? Cause he was dead!

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Who kille the Mockingbird? George Bush: i wish i could know the answer for this question, but belive me i am thinking.

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

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Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

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What's the difference between humans and dogs? 4.

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops