how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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What s the difference between a pigeon ?

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Why did the weiner dog have a bad childhood? Uncle Monty put his foot up its arse on a daily basis before chewing dorris's nose, ears and eyelids.

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Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Everything's brown Who shit on my flowers

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We are not familiar with the specific circumstances, therefore its difficult to determine exactly why.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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A dirty joke Three white horse's are walking down a trail one falls in the mud

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What happens when three drunk men are driving 80 miles off of a cliff. They all die on impact from the great fall and their family's mourn over their deaths for years to come.

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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What do black people eat? Food.

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A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

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Why couldn't the boy turn around in the hallway? Becasue he had a javelin through his head

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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