What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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a black guy hates chicken.

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A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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What did the muslim get for christmas? Nothing.

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Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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A bird flew into a cave and Batman said, "GET OOOUUUTTT!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops