What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

thumb_up thumb_down -27

potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A white man, a black man, and a Hispanic man are in car, who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

thumb_up thumb_down -27

your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops