How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

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what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Me Neither.

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Chuck Norris screams in pain.

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What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

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How many gay people does it take to make a football team? 11

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? Because an arrow penetrated her head.

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If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

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Knock Knock, Whos there? a baby nailed to the wall Orgasim

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Q:Why did sarah fall off the swing? A:She had no arms. 1:Knock knock 2:who's there? 1:not sarah

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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What is a 6.9? A period getting in the way of a good time!

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whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

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Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops