Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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You wanna see something really scary?

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Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

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Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

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Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What's city is in New York New York City

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

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Three jews walked into a bar I lied, it was a gas chamber

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

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Why was the little girl sad? Why???? Because an elephant stamped on her, and shat on her.

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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i was scrolling through the anti-jokes and saw one that just said refridgerator. i laughed. penis.

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing really, it just let out a little whine.

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stairs? A:Because someone pushed him down.

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What did the Black man get after a month's worth of manual labour? A reasonable wage, that was above the national minimum wage standard which states his and everyones right to a certain amount of money

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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