Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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s

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What's worse than loading babies into a garbage truck. Answore: unloading them with a pitch fork.

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the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

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What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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I like colin but not as much as apple

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How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

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Why did the mexican order a bean burrito? Because thats his favorite

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops