- Anti Joke

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- slam

An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

What did the black guy do to the hooker, he took her dead body out of his trunk

What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

what's funnier than hell? heaven

How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

Did you hear the one about the chicken crossing the road? It wanted to go to the other side.

why did the black man die? the man bled out, and doctors did everything they could.

My name is Will I am a real homosexual

Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

Your mama's so nice, she made me cookies once. And I enjoyed them.

Women's rights.