Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? being wrongly accussed of a crime you didnt commit because of your race, and being put on death row

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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hello

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!¡¡¡¡

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want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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