Why did the little kid fall down? He was pushed

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Roses are red violets are flowers jordan and me did it for hours If you know what i mean xxx

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These two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second guy would've noticed it was there.

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What's red, blue & green all over?

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yo mama is so fat that wii fit puts her in the overweight category

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you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

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Two friends go on a hunting trip together. One friend says to the other "Knock, knock." The other friend doesn't respond because he was mauled by a bear.

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Do you want to hear a racist joke? I hate black people...

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Beacuse she has no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's There? Not Sally.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

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Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

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Q: Why do some women insist they don't have penises or testicles? All humans have penises and testicles! A: These women have been brainwashed by feminism. It's quite sad, really.

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Why wasn't the girl raped? Cause she wasn't attractive.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

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How to have a cheap party in just 5 steps: 1. Buy 100 McDonald's burgers and give everyone food poisoning 2. Bring out that black serial killer's mask you've been working on. 3. Bring out that sharp knife. 4. Slit everyone's throats. 5. Dance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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