What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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Try it Yourself »

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What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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What is a black man's favorite food? It differs from person to person.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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why do you care?

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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YO FACE

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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Why was the black man so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What's big and long? My dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops