"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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Nickleback walks into a bar..... There isn't a punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

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What do you call a man who only eats fast food? Unhealthy.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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John Travolta goes to the supermarket..

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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