happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

What is worse than the holocaust? World War III.

I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

Why did the car stop? The driver had a stroke

What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

Knock knock, COME IN!

why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

Barack Obama

A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

Yo mama so stupid that she was tested and found to be mentally retarded.

Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

A guy jumps off a cliff and does a reasonable thing, scream to his death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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