An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Holocost jokes arent even that funny, Anne Frank-ly they annoy me.

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Jim: You know whats funny? Bob: What? Jim: The 28th Amendment.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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Dyslexics have more nuf!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

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how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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69 :)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

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What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops