What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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baby seal walks into a club

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why, you might ask, did in fact the chicken cross this all too infamous road? His grandma-ma phoned the righteous bird and requested a visit. Chickens never displease their family.

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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what did meredith and nick have in common an i

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

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Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

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"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

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what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

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Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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What is the mexican dream? To jump the border

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Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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sorry got to poo

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What's brown and smelly? Poop.

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops