Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's red ad looks like a green bucket? A red bucket to a color blind person

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why was tommy so sad?............because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the poll booth to vote on a law restricting the questioning of chickens destination and furthermore to let chickens cross with out ridicule.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road Because it's a free country chickens are free to do as they please

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is difference about : Pizza and Jews on the Holocaust? Pizza don't scream when she gets into the oven!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

With the exception of pigs, both pigs and blue jays can fly

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black man on steroids? Strong.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A father teaches his son to ride a bike. Father: Don't stop or you'll fall. Son: Ok, dad. They have a nice time,

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hey, did u know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans By: Trey & Trenton of Texas

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops