Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

69

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A woman crashes her car into a pole Thier family is suing for a hit and run

thumb_up thumb_down +24

rosses are red voilets are pinkey your mams pussy is really stinky

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops