Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

Why did the chicken cross the road?

What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

I am on a escalator.

Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

If you posten bout Kony I feel bad for you son. Cause ive snached 99 children and you pst saved none jesse

say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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