What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? They were tossing frisbee and accidentally threw it into their neighbors yard.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your mother is so old that she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the crack addict see colors. He was looking at the northern lights

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because she was proud of her work as Chief Marketing Director of Tropicana.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how did they guy with no legs in the wheel chair walk? he couldnt because he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock! Ding dong.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

It was a warm summer day when justin beiber got hit by the bus everyone was cheering

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops