Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

Why did the Nazi doctor drown a Jew in the lake? Because he felt like it.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

Why did the man take off his pants A: because they were uncomfortable to sit in

Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

What's five times 10? Sixty, you retarded fuck.

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

A muslim paints Mohammed

Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

3 blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The 1 blonde says they're deer tracks. The 2 blonde says they're elk tracks. The 3 blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

Why was the dinosaur laughing so hard? He heard a very humorous joke

Q: What do dogs and wind have in common? A: They're both blue. Except the dog. Or the wind. Wind is colorless.

No because your face is really f***** up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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