What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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how did the man with just a head hide the fact that he murdered someone? im not sure but this seems highly untrue as someone could not kill someone with just their head.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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the holocaust

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

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Q: Whats worse than Coke A: Diet Coke

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Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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what did the radish say to the orange i'm a radish

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

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Q. what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. nothing you done told her twice already

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

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What do you call a poldo thats hafl poldo a

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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