what happens when a Texan see's a black guy? he says howdy

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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Pickles

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

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Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops