What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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What's 6+2? 16

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why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

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Winking at old people

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Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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