Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why are bowling balls racist? They are not because bowling balls are incapable of having feeling therfore they cannot have racial thoughts or actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

This is an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +35

knock knock Dave's not here.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

thumb_up thumb_down +33

roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Gay's

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

24

thumb_up thumb_down +31

there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops