a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

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Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

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What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

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What's clear and wet? water

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Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

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What did the squirrel say to the other squirrel? Squirrels can't talk.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What worse than the holocaust? Dries Roelvink!

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

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How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

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What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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