What's black and bleeding? Who cares?

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

girls lacrosse

Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

Duh, its red not ginger, like really really red... Not unlike my eyes, which is a bit of the reason I dye it., I also use colored contact lenses most of the time now.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

Are you from Tennessee? Because you accent is really not hiding it

what goes up and down , and left and right all day without breaking a sweat? A compass, get your mind out of the gudder.

What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

What is worse than the Haulocost? Running across Africa with KFC

guys stop with the jewish jokes anne frainkly its getting old

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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