Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

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Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocost

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Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

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A brown haired girl and a blonde girl are driving through a cornfield. Because of this illegal activity, they are sent to court and given 8 years in the state prison.

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"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

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A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

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Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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Knock, Knock Come in

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What can eat, sleep, and reproduce? Not a rock, that's for sure.

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irish wristwatch JLR

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Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

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what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

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A hispanic lesbian couple accidentally walk into a country western themed bar. And leave immediately as a bar is no place for their 2 year old son.

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What's funnier than the world ending? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder in a staring contest.

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knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

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BenWuzHear

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I win an iPad for pooping on someone's head Answer- We have a muddaf**kin winna

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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