When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

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how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

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What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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I told you it would happen

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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once upon a time there was a boy

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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