Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

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Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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Justin Bieber is a good singer.

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What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

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irish wristwatch JLR

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

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Yo mama is so depressing. That is so sad.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

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A: B: No pun intended.

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when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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