Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call a black airline pilot? Captain, you big racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

person: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? person: A Hipster. Me: False.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q) Why was six afraid of seven? A) Seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

No, luke. I am your father. damnit

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

what is the world worst joke? this one

thumb_up thumb_down -42

the WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -44

4 black men wearing ski masks and stripped jumpers kicked my door open and ran into my house knocking over and breaking things. They then realised this was not their friends house, apologised, paid for the damaged and left for the fancy dress party.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

yo mamas so fat... she's a map on call of duty

thumb_up thumb_down -50

There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Maturity is a virtue.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

thumb_up thumb_down -54

A blonde walks into a bar and orders a drink. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Knock Knock! .... Knock Knock! ... There seems to be nobody at home...

thumb_up thumb_down -60

What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops