how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

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Joanna walks up to a random house, knocks on the door,"Is this where the party's at?!"

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How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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What do you call a homeless person with one leg? Rob.

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Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

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Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

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A guy trips a blind man.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

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There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

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Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

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what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Q: What did the student say to the teacher? A: The answer is four.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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