Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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69

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On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

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How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

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What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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Wanna here a good joke? Sure, but you spelled hear wrong.

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I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

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I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

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Why did the black man begin to cry when his friend aimed a gun at a watermelon? Because if he were to shoot it would be a waste of perfectly good food.

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how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

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That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

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Yeah right loser!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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