^that joke's not funny

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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obamas trench

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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What never seems to get old? AIDS.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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What does 1+1 equal? 2

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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