What did the man with cancer do? Die

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

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yo momma so fat i abuse my wife

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Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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Q: What is your favorite color? M: Blue

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

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Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

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Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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