Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? He was Happy

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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Q:what did a keppy kid with a big nose say A:hi im josh Roberts

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Your momma is so white, when she goes out in the sun it is necessary for her to use a lotion with an SPF greater than 30 because she burns easily and is also afraid of skin cancer.

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A black man is a human, with feelings, living cells and a loving and devoted family, while a park bench is made from wood and metal and used purely for people to sit on. In parks.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

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knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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GONNA

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What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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slaughter the mussies #EDL

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops