YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple being tricked by your best friend to mule drugs over the boarder and then imprisoned in a Vietnamese jail, where you will most likely will be traded for sex and other horrid act of sodomy, only to escape and work as a sex slave to earn your way home, because that is the life you know now there is no way out you will die here.

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why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

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What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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whats stupid and gay all of my friends

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Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

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What did the Black guy, the Asian, and the White guy have in common? they were all brutally murdered.

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a man is running away

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Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

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What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

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A man fell off a cliff... He died a vicious death.

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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TOBUSCUS

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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