What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

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why did the asain hate his life he didn't he was living a good life with large amounts of money with a very hot wife

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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why did the chicken cross the road??? I don't know, that's why I asked you -_-

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What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

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THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I NEVER SAW 9/11! 9/11? NEVER HAPPENED -Jonathan

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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Colby Michael Schluter

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Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

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What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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What do you call a black person with white legs ? Ashy

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Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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