there once was a guy named james who like to play video games he was told one day that he was gay and he immediatley consulted a priest for reconciliation

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stevie wonder watched a movie yesterday

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Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

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Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

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Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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One time Chuck Norris cried. He felt slightly better after the experience, but, unfortunately, his grandmother still died of cancer.

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A Black man and a Hispanic man were sitting in the back seat of a car. Who was driving? Their Asian friend who offered to take them to get lunch.

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Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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A ginger was with his friends

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"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

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Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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no, ten dead babies nailed to ten dead babies.

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What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

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What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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What's round and red? A red and round solid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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