Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

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What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

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what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

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Gary: How many sides does a triangle have? Juan: 2? Gary: Nope, it's 3, nice try

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Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

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I walked into my maths lesson and my teacher told me to point out the uncommon variable. ..So i pointed at the ginger black man in the corner.

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Jamie stegman has no life he is a nerd while his sister is giving him a z-j while jacob comes in and starts rubbing the lamp and then the crazy man ate the orange then farted in all of there face. NeonFAILsky xoxo

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Nicolas Cage

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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What's worse than genital warts? Herpes. You can get rid of warts

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A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

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How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

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What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

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what do you call a gay guy Ej

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Sophie Cameron is Gay

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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