Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you get when you cross a muslim and a mexican? i don't know, i just thought that this would make an interesting question.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do all 21 year olds have in common? there all 21

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's brown and sticky? Caramel.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops