My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

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Two blonds are driving to Disneyland. While there driving they see a sign "Disneyland: left" So they started crying and headed back home.

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why didn't your dog come home last cause he died

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Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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if life thows you lemons ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

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Why did little Lucy climb up a tree? Cos her dad beats her.

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ass in my face ? no

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Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

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A man walks into a bar. He recieves a concussion and dies of internal bleeding 3 hours later.

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How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

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Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

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I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

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Deadly cancer.

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

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Pee Pee bleekkka klup look? fupapapapapapapapap

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops