Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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9/11

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got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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